Thank You, Eve
Photo by Engin Akyurt from Unsplash
Written by Angela Murray
I’ve been pondering a question for quite some time now.
The Bible claims that Eve’s decision to eat the forbidden fruit marked the downfall of everything. Just one small bite, and it seems women have been paying the price ever since. But were we judged a bit too harshly? Let’s break it down.
Yes, men are physically stronger than women — we can admit that. Sometimes we do need protecting. Men also go through puberty, which let’s be honest, for them often leads to discovering masturbation. Hardly a bad thing, right? And sure, men face the discomfort of prostate exams — invasive, awkward, and definitely not pleasant. No one enjoys going to the doctor for that.
But for women? One small bite of that apple has led to: monthly periods. Not only do we bleed, but we’re treated to a buffet of stomach cramps, back pain, and mood swings. For some, this misery lasts up to seven days, followed by a brief respite before Aunt Flo inevitably returns. During this time, we’re expected to smile through it all and pretend everything’s fine.
Let’s talk about sex. For most men, losing their virginity is a pleasurable, non-painful experience. But for many women, the first time is painful, even excruciating. The tearing of the hymen can lead to—you guessed it—more bleeding. Then there’s the joy of pap smears. Nothing quite makes you feel vulnerable like being spread out in stirrups, exposing your most intimate parts for inspection. It may not be the world looking, but you get the picture.
And then we have pregnancy and childbirth. For men, their biggest concern is that their swimmers reach their target. Women, on the other hand, carry a tiny human for nine months. We endure morning sickness, swollen ankles, backaches, and more, only to push this little person out in a torrent of screaming and swearing.
Men, you’re at the top of the list of people we curse during labour. After the baby is born, we deal with leaking breasts, stretch marks, and sleepless nights. And let’s not forget the fun of sneezing or coughing while clenching our legs to avoid, well, leakage. Once all that’s done, we face perimenopause and menopause. This delightful chapter brings weight gain, loss of libido, brain fog, achy joints, and a whirlwind of hormonal imbalances. Just when we think we’ve tackled one symptom, another comes to remind us we’re still in the thick of it.
And despite enduring all this, in many cultures, women are still seen as second-class citizens. From the very beginning, we’ve been handed the short end of the stick.
So, I have to ask: does the punishment really fit the crime?
All of this for one small bite of an apple?
Edited by Nico Horton