A limited time to say, I love you Part II by Georgia Pine
Illustration by Lois Smith.
Displacement
Displacement is an object’s change in position. Travelling from start to finish creates a complete journey. It is possible, however, to cover large distances, without any displacement.
Think of your starting point,
Point A.
You leave and…
… to Point A.
Tanya met Jason when they worked in retail. They had a normal relationship for the first few months, because he hadn’t left civilian life yet.
It must be peculiar to fall in love with someone, only to see them leave.
Jason is now in the Marines and, with just seven weeks off a year, he no longer comes home in the evenings like most boyfriends. Tanya’s time with him is limited.
‘The transition was hard because the two types of relationship demand different things from each person. One has to deal with leaving and the other has to deal with being left. One person is always watching the other walk away not knowing when the footsteps will come towards them again.’
The training undertaken by our brave military men often has an effect that goes unnoticed by the civilian population. Watching her partner change was strange for Tanya. To be apart for so long and have your partner return altered is surreal.
‘When he’s at work, he’s not emotional – he has to be completely focused. Transitioning from camp to civilian life takes a couple of days. It’s little things: in a restaurant he can’t sit with his back to the room, automatically looks for threats, and has to know where the exits are. Meanwhile, I’m trying to decide between pizza and pasta.’
Tanya has accepted that military relationships are in a unique category. Jason has been training for just over a year, Tanya is two years into university, and the relationship is three years old. Birthdays are rarely celebrated with one another and they have never spent an anniversary together. Sometimes seeing a couple holding hands makes Tanya wish for change; a cuddle after a hard day is a fantasy. Where some relationships strain and snap under the weight of distance, however, these two have found a way to bend, flex and make their peace with the changing circumstances. They’ve even managed to find positives in the distance. Tanya says there is an excitement that can be only be felt by those who are reunited after many months apart.
‘He says he’s five minutes away and I get butterflies. You forget they’re real and not a picture on a screen.’
They appreciate their time together because it’s so limited. Boxes of love, stuffed with emotions, thoughts, stories to share suddenly get to be opened.
‘I think distance makes the love stronger, the fights louder, the hugs longer. It intensifies all aspects of a relationship.’
It sounds like a movie; exciting, keeping you on your toes, with new and unexpected realms to explore. Tanya even makes it sound like something to be envied.
‘We both enjoy having time to ourselves. When it’s coming to the end of our summer holiday, in the nicest way, we both secretly look forward to it. We’re not fed up with each other, but we look forward to getting back to our own routines. We love each other but he’s a lad’s lad, not needy at all, so sometimes that space we get is appreciated.’
Long distance, for Tanya and Jason, provides independent space to grow, alongside gratitude for one another’s company, that is sometimes misplaced in civilian society.[1]
Despite covering great distance, you’ve returned as intended. This means there has been no displacement, despite the long journey and passing time.
[1] Anonymous, Email to Georgia Pine (18 March 2020).
by Georgia Pine
About A limited time to say, I love you
This is a four-part exploration of love, long distance relationships and the effects they have on us. It forms part of 2nd year English and Creative Writing student Georgia Pine’s work for the Creative Non-Fiction module and it includes illustrations by Lois Smith. Installments will be published monthly across the summer. This is the third installment.