Deep-Sea Cuisine
Picture this: you are chosen as the head Chef in a prestigious deep-sea expedition to the Mariana Trench. This is the absolute highlight of your culinary career. You board the submarine, your home for the coming weeks. You descend, you start preparing for the first meal, and..
There is no food.
You forgot to pack any.
Rest assured, at least one other person, namely, me, has been in this situation. This blog will recount my findings attempting to feed a crew at the bottom of the ocean with limited resources, but Nemo be damned; you can make it work.
Poached Squirrel Blowfish
Unrelated to the squirrel fish, the squirrel blowfish is a deep-sea species of blowfish, named after the mammal for its comically large front teeth. Despite being edible, this fish is naturally extremely bitter, and so poaching it forces it to lose this unpleasant flavour. The recipe is as follows;
- Carefully remove each tooth and poisonous spine. For extra precaution, wear gloves.
- When cutting into the blowfish, HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE. If manipulated too roughly, its body will give in under pressure and explode, which may lead to a large stain or potential injury. Ensure your knife is of good quality; you may find my preferred equipment here.
- Choose which liquid to cook the fish in. A personal recommendation, dry white wine. Helps the crew forget how ugly their meal used to look. ( It is not mandatory, but I like to add some lemon peel for an extra zing. )
- Add the wine into the pan, and heat it until it reaches a low simmer, bubbles floating up to the top. Avoid boiling.
- Place the fillets into the liquid, ensuring they are fully submerged.
- Cover the pan with a lid and cook for 5 minutes. The thin slices of meat are cooked rather quickly, adjust time as necessary.
- Once the fish attains an almost sickly purple, remove it from the liquid and serve.
- Enjoy! It may look disgusting, but it is delicious(ly edible).
Deep-Fried Deep-Sea Trumpetfish
Despite a vast majority of trumpetfish living in shallow water, the Mariana Trench holds the world’s only species of deep sea-dwelling trumpetfish. Though typically arrow-straight, when taken into the submarine, the pressure difference instantly liquifies its skeleton, twisting it into an almost spaguetti-like shape. Cooking this curious fish is far more straightforward;
- Remove the scales and teeth with care.
- Boil a vat of your preferred deep-frying oil. ( Personally, I find rapeseed oil gives the food a lovely exterior texture without affecting taste. )
- Allow the entire fish to fry for 3-5 minutes, depending on the thickness of the body.
- Remove and eat. You’ll know it’s ready when it resembles an oversized curly fry.
Just because you’re at the bottom of the ocean doesn’t mean you can’t eat well! Hopefully this blog helped in your survival.
