The Light in the Dark

Written by Angela Murray
Trigger Warning: This short piece contains themes of child loss.

She couldn’t remember why or how she came to this place, nor could she sense how long she had been there.  Feeling numb, the surrounding darkness offered peace and comfort.

A light appeared in the distance, and she froze when she heard a faint voice.  It flickered and then disappeared plunging her into darkness again. The light returned moments later, and she stared at it in morbid fascination. She moved closer as the faint voice from earlier grew louder.

“Come back.…” the sound faded and then more coherent, “Baby, please come back to me.”

Struggling to understand why the voice sounded so familiar to her, she took another step closer and raised her hand to touch the light.  Overwhelming pain and sadness bled through her fingertips as she staggered back, clutching her hand to her chest. 

Emotions began to swirl inside her and she felt relief as the darkness returned, she escaped into a dreamless sleep.  She awoke to find the light hovering next to her and the same voice now filled with anguish and desperation begging her to return to him. 

“Emma, I don’t know if you can hear me, but you are the strongest person I know, and I need you to fight.  Find a way back to me.”

Wary, she took a deep breath and raised her hand to the light as memory after memory flooded her mind.  Her parents, her first kiss, university, her wedding day. He was there, the man, the voice. 

“Do you Calvin take Emma…”  

Their love blanketing her in warmth as she smiled, and then her world splintered.

Blood, flashing blue lights, her baby, no heartbeat, excruciating pain. No heartbeat. She cried out as a tidal wave of grief washed over her and, resting her hand gently on her stomach, she welcomed the dark once more.

Calvin’s voice echoed in her mind, and she made her decision. To fight, to heal, and when the time was right, to try again. Together.  Knowing a small piece of her heart would always remain in the dark, she turned and took a step into the light.

Blinking, she found warm brown eyes staring back at her.  Tears ran unchecked down his face, but he smiled at her and squeezed her hand gently. “You found your way back to me.” 

Returning his smile, she said, “You were the light in the dark.”