Should Dogs be able to get Degrees?

Written by Abiramy Yogeswaran

Edited by Hannah Johnstone & Madison Turnbull

“But what do you hope is true?” Annie Edison asks Frankie Dart in Community’s season six, episode Basic Crisis Room Decorum.

Annie and Frankie are looking through the Greendale files to find out if the community college really did give a degree to a dog. City College is planning on tainting their rivalling Greendalian name by releasing an attack ad telling the world all about Ruffles the dog, an alleged Greendale Community College alumnus.

So, what do you hope is true? Did Greendale give a degree to Ruffles the dog or not? I for one hope that Ruffles is indeed a college graduate. Why wouldn’t you want to live in a world where a dog can, and did, get a degree?

The world is constantly moving toward more diversity in all environments: schools, workplaces and entertainment all carry a responsibility to offer equal opportunities, or at least make an appearance that convinces people they do. The only thing missing is a token dog.

Dogs have been marginalised for long enough, just like any other non-human species. As we find ways to spread awareness of speciesism and advance in our execution of animal rights, dogs being recognized as our peers will inevitably lead to a crash of our speciesist view of the world.

Whether for the greater good of animal rights or not, there are plenty of selfish reasons to include dogs in our universities. We could play with dogs during breaks, always have an enthusiastic companion to sit with at lunch and a strong nose to sniff out our human friends. For the more anxious among us, the presence of a dog can be very therapeutic.

These benefits cannot come without compromises, however.

Imagine this. You’re sitting in a classroom or lecture hall, disciplined and quiet, taking notes, maybe sipping on some coffee. A dog is on their way from one class to another, your four-footed classmate sees them through the window and starts barking, thus disrupting the class.

This dog, just like Ruffles, is sitting right beside you and might get a little too interested in the bright screen of your computer, disrupting the flow of your typing. Actually, any shiny thing will do.

Daily annoyances aside, education is a manmade concept that non-human species are going to have some trouble fitting into. It’s entirely reliant on the very human understanding of intelligence, skill and the desire to get a job. Next thing you know, we are going to be greeted by a dog at the hotel reception.

People don’t do well with being compared to animals, let alone equated to them. Our ego is quite amazing that way. We don’t want to hold the same value as a dog, which will be the case if a dog is able to get the same degree as us. A dog having the same credentials as us might lead to employers not appreciating ours, and there you have it - a dog at the reception.

Your school might lose its reputation (assuming it was a good one to begin with) and you might deeply regret picking the school that you did. It could mean a part of your CV might not be very well received and you might lose every last bit of respect for yourself and in turn, all the choices you’ve made. If these hypotheticals sound plausible, you might be someone who would hope that the Ruffles allegations are false.

However, these things would only be true if you actually attached your ego to the possibility of a dog getting a degree. I say let the damn dog be. If Ruffles wants to get a degree, he can get a degree. It doesn’t take anything away from any of us. Ruffles is a good boy.

Frankie turns to Annie, “Oh god no, I never hope. Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith’s richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed attic bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear.”

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