Post-Digital Summer Showcase Entry No:3 - Writing: How to Begin? by Tabby Smith
Image by Thought Catalog via Unsplash
In this third submission to the Post-Digital Writing Summer Showcase, students on the Post-Digital Content module were tasked with responding to the idea of Evergreen Content in a disruptive style. Tabby Smith’s ‘Writing: How to Begin’ was voted as the strongest piece of the week by the class for its humorous approach to the struggle of writing those first lines to any story.
Writing: How to Begin?
If you’re here, you too must have spent the previous two hours staring at a blank page, desperately searching for the correct words to begin your story, the pressure of starting perfectly, and the weight of your dreams crushing down on you. Trying, and failing, to find that one magical sentence to kick start the story you’ve been daydreaming about.
First things first, throw away everything you think you know about writing. No one simply sits in front of a laptop and writes. Luckily, there are several tried and tested methods for dragging a story out of your brain and onto a page, and I’ve compiled the following list for your viewing pleasure:
Invoke any deity of the arts; Apollo, for example, is a great choice! Make offerings of milk and honey, and wait for the God-given inspiration to take you. (If you’re vegan, oat milk and agave nectar are suitable substitutions. Add some fruit if you still feel your offerings aren’t up to par.)
Sell your soul! While this may seem drastic, there’s really no better way to start a story than by making a deal with the Devil. Before you know it, the words will be flowing out of you faster than you can keep up with. (You'll also never need to wear a hoodie again, the warmth of Hellfire at your back will be enough.)
Read the script of The Room (2003). Feel better about your writing. Remember that no matter what you write, it can’t be worse than that. (This option has repeatability! If you feel your inspiration waning, simply pull that script back up, have a good laugh, and then go back to writing.
If, somehow, these three methods don’t work for you, my final offer is to give up. I’d say stop writing, but you’re here because you haven’t started. Writing a story is a long, torturous process, less a labour of love and more a labour. If you’re unwilling to put yourself through the pain of the process as well as the joys of it, this is not a career for you. There’s no shame in that, but please close the door quietly on your way out.
However, if you have found success with one of these tips, please consider sharing this article with the rest of your struggling artist friends, even if you have to ignore the innate need to hide your method of success; there’s no way for them to know if you simply read a script, or entered into an eternal contract with your soul as forfeit. Sharing is caring!
Happy writing.
Edited by Eoin Murray